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23:33 0308.31
[Insert funny title here] You know, I kind of feel bad about today. I didn't go to church, because I didn't bother to set my alarm clock and woke up at 11:40. Dan and Lance somehow ended up doing this too, so I feel less bad. Sometime afterwards-- I wasn't keeping track of time, we all got dressed and went to Backyard Burgers and met Megan and Kelly and Kelly's roommate (why did I start typing "Kelly's girlfriend"? That's wierd) there. It's apretty nice place-- some sort of chain of upscale burgerjointage. Whatever. We went off to the World of Sam Walton after that, and bought some foodstuffs. When we got to the drink aisle, I started to grab for some cokes when Dan and Lance started persuading me to buy the Walton brand because it's cheaper and supposedly tastes just as good. Just to spite them, instead of buying a twelve-pack of coke cans, I got a six-pack of glass bottles. BURN. I poked around on my computer for the afternoon, and tried to do some homework-- the folks called a couple times, too. Speaking of phone calls, Ivan was in and out of the room this afternoon, and, in the times when he was gone I took no less than five messages from random girls for him. This guy, he is on fire, or something. For dinner, I had a little microwave box of fettuccine alfredo, which was actually very good. Since I cracked out my Eddie Bauer field utensil kit to eat, and it had a bottle opener, I decided on having one of my cokes with it. I tell you, there's something about those bottles that makes the coke taste so much better. It must be the fact that there's no plastic that it can react with-- even the aluminum cans have some plastic on the inside, which does subtly alter the taste. I spent the rest of the evening bouncing back and forth between rooms in the suit, not doing much. I kind of feel bad about doing that-- I mean, I don't really have that many new friends down here, and they people I do know I don't really do anything with. I just loathe the phone. Trying to make a call on it is so nerve-wracking. It's wierd-- I don't have nearly as much of a problem when someone calls me, although it still isn't anything I'd consider enjoyable in the least. And it's not like I don't know inside and out how the phone system works (or, at least, how it worked 30 years ago). There's just something... scary about it. It's talking, but talking to someone involves so much more than audible transmissions between 50 and 1000 hz, you know. I just can hardly bring myself to do it, really. I guess I'll just sit around and do my homework all semester XD Individual Post | Comments (1) 20:47 0308.30 LOSS So, what's up with this dorm thing, anyway? Today was by no means a day I would consider 'enjoyable' in the least. Certainly, it didn't start off on the right appendage, as I awoke at about 12:15 to the sounds of repeated slamming noises on my room door. After putting on my robe and finding my umbrella -- which makes perfect sense as a weapon when one is mostly asleep -- I opened the door to find a large rope manufactured from duct tape attached to it, and some moron trying to explain to me that it's just a joke and he was having fun. At a quarter past twelve in the morning. On my door. Folks, if you haven't yet read "How NOT to Piss Ben Off" (iaatbpress, ISBN-not-really, MSRP $PAN.TS), I really suggest you do. Anyhow, here's the relevant passage: Some simple guides on how not to piss Ben off:Fortunately, Dan came out and told everybody in the hall to go back to bed -- I guess his drowsy state allows him access to his post-hunter-gatherer thought processes -- since he could tell the guy was pushing my buttons and getting ready to turn both sets of keys to initiate Defcon 1. He's since come over and appologized, which is nice, you know. I think I woke up about noonish, and got ready to do my laundry. Dan came over mentioned the he was going to go do his, so we decided to do ours together. He also wanted to show me some pictures he'd taken with his digital camera, and when he went to put them on his computer we realized that his 'Net connection was finally working, so he spent about an hour emailing, etc., which was fine by me. Right as we're about to leave, Lance walks in, and says he's about to do his laundry and asks if we want to do ours with him. Okey pokes. He takes about a half hour to put everything of his together, so it's about two o'clock when we get to the East Laundromat (I assume there's one on the western end of campus; that may or may not be the case, however). We decide to save on coinage by doing all our clothes together-- everyone wears different sizes and styles of clothes anyhow, so it's not like stuff will get mixed up. Atfer we get the first loads of stuff in washers, Dan and I poke around and Lance goes back to installing a new stereo in his car. Hours pass. Time stops having any meaning in the hot, humid little blockhouse of a laundromat. I'm hungry -- I hadn't eaten anything at all-- so I go over to the snack machine to get some cheez-its. I put in a dollar, don't get any change for the 60-cent-price. The corkscrew dispenser begins operating, and stops right as the package is about to fall out-- A corner of it is still stuck on the backage behind it. I bang on the machine, shake it, nearly beat my head into it in frustration. The back shakes, but doesn't fall. Dan has some change, and puts in another 60 cents. Fortunately, both bags fall. A measly 20 cheez-its or so. Half of them at least partially crushed. Lance and his car have both dispaeared completely by the drying stage. After it's done, Dan and I sort out the clothes, half-heartedly fold our own cloths, stuff Lance's in his back, and lug them back over to the dorm. It starts raining. So, I'm locked out, because I've left my keys in Lance's car. I sit around in Dan's room until lance get's back with them, and then come in mine and fold my laundry. More hours pass. The old people call, asking me how my day was. Blah. I realize I need food. The problem is, however, it's the weekend. The caf closes at 6:30. It's still raining-- my suitemates are MIA and my roommate Ivan is off doing his laundry. I need food, and I don't have a car. I know Megan does, but I don't have her number. I try Luke-- he's always got a plan. Busy signal. I try Andrea, she's pretty cute, you know, or something -- she's also, and, at least in the situation, more importantly, got a car -- but I get her roommate instead. Because I'm functionally inept when it comes to talking on the phone, I decline to leave a message. I spent a few minutes with Steven and Zach across the hall, and told them of some of my plight. Steven gave me a Jolly Rancher. Sweet, sweet carbohydrates. I opended up my crate of Goldfish and had a few of them, too, as I avoided the chair-jousting going on out in the hallway. Ivan got back about 8 o'clock or so. He's been talking on the phone in Spanish on and off since then. I know it's getting late, but if by some strange occurance you're here at school reading my website and have some access to foodstuffs of a general sort, please call me at extension 8798. Hopefully you won't get a busy signal. Individual Post | Comments (0) 22:49 0308.28 It all ends in 1999 (not really) Not the normal blog entry, but just a little thought: The last few nights, I've walked around on the front lawn of campus, because apparently this 'exercise' thing is 'good', or whatever. Every night I've noticed a large group of girls congregated around the fountain in front of the Administration Auditorium. They sing songs while passing around a candle, and then suddenly something happens and they all shove one girl in the fountain. I've asked around about this-- apparently it's 'the ring ceremony'. in which a yet-to-be-determined-by-yours-truely group of girls gather around the fountain, etc, etc, until the one that has become engaged (hence, 'ring') blows out the candle and, once again, is shoved into the fountain by a mob of significant size. You know, society -- no, civilization itself -- has been dominated by men for countless millenia. And, honestly, it can be summarized as general progress occasionally interupted with often debilitating cruelty and violence. Taking the above as an example, I can only begin to contemplate what would have happened if it were the other gender in control for all these years. Individual Post | Comments (0) 12:55 0308.26 College Woot Hello fools and welcome to my blog. That is, if hyou've just come across it. And no, I don't really think you're a fool. Well, probably not, at least. So, Harding is pretty razy fun. I'm sitting in the honors house waitning for my 1:00 class and sipping Coca-cola, since this is the only place on campus to get it. Waugh. Oh well, gotta go. But wait, there's more! Look at my schedule, or something. I don't know. Whatever. 
Individual Post | Comments (0) 01:52 0308.19 Save it for Queen Doppel-poppolis! 'Dopple-poppolis'-- you think that's Greek? Greek chicks are so hot! Dude, on my semester abroad, me and this guy Kent I played lacrosse with, we went to Crete one time -- I was a winger. Anyway, we're on Crete and there's this little café®®. Did I tell you this? Anyway, the owner's daughter, oh, man, she had these perfect-- Mmm. Sealab. That show is so insanely funny. Anyway, I bout a bunch of crap for college today. Supplies and the like. My brother picked out some cologne, or whatever the heck it's called, for me, since, like, as far as the guy's stuff goes, I can really only smell the propellent in the things. I get the most vague notion from this particular batch of stuff that the fragrance has something in common with the smell I associate with my father's father-- old books and his pipe tobacco, which smelled nothing like tobacco. The smell of that -- I still have some of his items, and I just recently found that dad has a big bag of the actual unburnt stuff-- is downright indescribable, outside of perhaps 'warm' and 'old'. I really wish he were still around. I seem to have done something to my lower back, as it has a dull, but very onerous, pain that occurs whenever the vertabrae aren't under compression. Wierd. Also, today, as I was going through stuff in my room, I found a blockbuster nametag. If memory serves me right, I was somehow involved in shooting a scene of a movie of some sort at Blockbuster with Herr Leunig as some sort of ninja, or something, and I ended up with this nametag. The name on it is 'Jenny', I'm currently concocting how to make it say 'Benny' and still look legit. Well, its just one of those print-out labels for the name, so maybe I can get a labelmaker of some sort. YES. Individual Post | Comments (1) 01:58 0308.14 Hmm... So, I guess I'm going to college next week. It's sort of just hitting me right now; I guess it'll be interesting, or something. Yeah, that's the ticket. So, I was considering writing a few paragraphs wallowing in self-pity over percieved incompetence and insecurity; however, judging from the last several attempts of this nature, I'll spare myself the time and the quasi-existent readership the trouble. Instead, I'll regail you with the story of Dan and I working up a sweat hauling clothes hangers to the dumpster. Unfortunately, that sentance basically covers the entire story, so consider yourself regailed. Individual Post | Comments (0) 22:22 0308.11 Anatomy of an IM So, for the past couple weeks, the younger sister of a classmate has been trying to have IM conversations with me, over various and sordid subjects-- none of which I particularly care to discuss with most any person, especially not one whose primary claim to fame within my head is shouting "HELLO BEN LAMB" in the hallways. So here's tonight's conversation, with my own personal thoughts scattered throughout. Screenames have been changed to protect the insolent. [her] (21:19:33): hey benOh no, what will it be this time? Well, I might as well do the nice thing and reply, so I do. [me] (21:19:59): helloHmm, I wonder if she'll say 'why just okay' again. [her] (21:20:49): why just okay?To paraphrase Fukui-san, put another bittersweet tally in the 'W' column for Iron Chef Bennyfactor. How many times have I explained the meaning of 'okay' to this girl? Too many, that's for sure. Well, I've heared about this guy, Pavlov, and how he did this thing with dogs... [me] (21:22:37): Hmmm. Let's see-- because I like the word okay, and because I dislike people misconstruing the word to mean anything other than 'all correct'.Zee plot, she thickens. [her] (21:25:45): uh yes Ben it is.. when was the first time then?Okay, the 'alternate universe' thing is a bit over the top, but at least I'm trying to be copacetic here and avoid conflict, as opposed to, say, obliquely calling someone a liar. Whatever. [her] (21:29:58): no ben, because you never told me that beforeYou cannot possibly imagine in your absolutely wildest dreams how long I've been waiting for the proper timing to say that. WE ARE BE HAVING A GAME TO SMURF HERE. [her] (21:31:12): oh ben!At this point, I stall for about a minute-- well, exactly a minute, from the timestamps-- resisting the urge to pull a Tommy DeVito. [her] (21:32:46): yes sir you arSo much for resistance. [her] (21:34:25): you just areIn the summer animated comedy blockbuster adaptation of this conversation, there would be inserted a a soft, distant whistling noise-- the noise of a perfectly good reference soaring straight over her head. [me] (21:36:32): There's this movie, called goodfellas.I LIKE SHORTS. ?? [me] (21:38:03): ...At this point, the conversations has seemed to have fizzled out. I've contemplated blocking her, but this really is somewhat fun... not really. Individual Post | Comments (2) 02:22 0308.9 Hey There Sorry to whatever audience is out there about thelack of updates. I just got my new computer, so most of me free computer time is wasted getting it up to speed. I do have some new stuff to upload, and got a better image gallery maker prog, so eventually there'll be new stuff. I didn't pay 200 bucks for nothing, man. this webspace is gonna get used eventually. Individual Post | Comments (0) |